Friday, January 21, 2011

Trying Harder

This week had its ups and downs, both in the training and in general. The week started out great- had a fun time knitting (finished a pair of socks!) and watching the bears game (more knitting, really), and had a decent swim on Monday, followed by a much better 20 min stairs experience than the previous time we did that at RC. Even the computrainer seemed to be getting better. And the best plus of all for the week: My ankle pain has been significantly lower, and actually almost non existent aside from tuesday night's running workout. I am crossing fingers that tomorrow's 70 min run doesn't set the progress back...

One thing I have been meaning to discuss here is the most recent chapter I read in the running book: "Trying Harder." It talked about how in a workout, even a key workout, we seldom push ourselves as hard as we would in a race. It encouraged us to push a little harder during each hard interval in a workout. I thought about this pretty carefully while I was reading. I am kind of a workout-pain-wuss. I hardly ever push myself to the point of nausea or extreme exhaustion or pain. In fact, I would fairly confidently say the only times I push myself as hard as I can is at RC, when I am being held accountable for a specific time in a speed workout, or I am too proud to let anyone pass me on the stairs. In other swimming or biking workouts, I do what I'm supposed to do, but I don't usually feel like I couldn't have worked any harder. Maybe part of that is also that biking and swimming are newer to me, so I am not as aware of my limitations. Often in a spin class, I get nervous that I won't be able to finish the 60 minutes, so I don't give it my all right off the bat. In a longer swimming interval, say 500 yd, I am wary of my ability to complete it at all, let alone at a brisk pace, and end up working as hard as I can to swim at a slow and steady pace, instead of finding out how fast I could really handle that distance...

Now, I don't think all of this is a bad thing- I think it is important to be aware that limitations exist- I wouldn't want to get to the end of the first lap out of 10 and have to stand at the side catching my breath for several minutes. However, I think it wouldn't be so bad for me to get a little bit out of the comfort zone, and more often push myself harder than I am used to. It will help me increase my pain and stress threshold. And, its only an interval, generally followed by a rest period. I can generally push myself towards my limits in RC. The last entry I mentioned the 10 x 400s we did where I consistently hit the same pace. Part of what kept me going was knowing I was almost done with the set: "2 more, now one more, I can do it." However, at the end, I know if she changed her mind and told us to do 12, I could have still done it, even having pushed myself super hard to finish numbers 9 and 10. When I am by myself I let myself slack off a little more- saving up energy to ensure I can finish. After reading this chapter and thinking hard about this, though, I want to try to put the effort in to really 'try harder' in each and every workout to make them count that much more.

I tried to channel this in my bike workout this morning, even though it wasn't intervals. There were only three of us at the computrainer class, and I was in last place on our 20.4 mile journey, "Escape from Alcatraz." This course involved a set of steep hills near the beginning and near the end, with a long flat region in the middle (swimming across the water?). I guess I am still getting the hang of when to be in which gear, and how fast to be pedaling at each stage. No matter how I altered the gears and adjusted my cadence, however, I couldn't get my wattage as high as the others, and I was getting extremely frustrated. Finally, I got to the last mile, and our coach was pulling out the coaching with encouragement: "come on, all out, you can do it!" I still couldn't get my wattage up, but I did push through as hard as I felt like I could have. I thought about this chapter, during that last mile especially, with the mantra of trying harder, when all I really wanted to do was stop.

Overall, during and immediately following the workout, I was pretty depressed about my inability to keep up, despite the fact that I should be only focused on working out for me. There were extraneous factors too: I got very little sleep last night, and I was worried about the practice talk I had to give at work today for my upcoming conference. After reflecting on this workout later in the day, when the stress of my talk was over, and I had a more clear head, I realized it wasn't quite as bad as I had thought at the time. My frustration almost led me to stop and give up. I even really needed to leave for work, which would have been a great excuse to quit, but I was determined to finish to prove to myself that I could do it, despite how behind I felt. I am trying to look at that side of it- not at the frustration of not being as good as the others, but at the part where I 'tried harder' and gave it what I had this morning.

There are always going to be good days and bad days- there's a long and hard journey ahead to get to the 70.3 race. However, this is a goal I really want to reach. I think it may be worth pushing the pain threshold and 'trying harder.'

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